I've debated about writing a post on this because I think it is very dangerous to label a child but, I've had a lot of people ask me about Megan and I think it might help people understand her better and know how to interact with her.
We believe that Megan has what they call "Selective Mutism" which is an anxiety disorder where the child is so afraid of social situations that she can't physically speak. She talks up a storm at home and with her close (little) friends but as soon as someone out of that circle (even her friend's parents and some relatives) approaches her and tries to engage in conversation ("Hi Megan, how are you?") she freezes and won't say a word. When we are in public places she will talk to me if she believes no one else is listening/ paying attention to her but as soon as someone smiles at her or says hi she goes silent.
Basically is boils down to social anxiety and a big part of the treatment is to try to take the anxiety out of social situations and take the pressure away from Megan to speak as much as possible. They say to tell people to talk to Megan but not ask her direct questions ("Hi Megan, it is so nice to see you today."). Smile at her and show love and acceptance for her and not pressure her to respond to you. The idea is that if she feels safe (loved and accepted without needing to speak) that the anxiety will eventually go away and she will speak in those "safe" environments. I'm also learning that she needs to have more social experiences (anyone up for a playdate?). So, I guess that means we need to get out more. ;)
I signed her up for kindergarten this week and I am nervous but I feel like the Lord will guide us to the right people. She needs a teacher who will just love her into talking and not pressure her to perform or put her on the spot. I think if she has a great teacher and just one great friend in her class she will be okay.
I'm understanding more the depths of love a mother has for her children with this experience with Megan. I'm so worried but at the same time I have a feeling of strength and courage when it comes to fighting for what is best for Megan, for all of my children. Megan is such a blessing in our family, she makes us smile.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Finding Megan's Voice
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4 comments:
Kathryn, I'm really glad you posted this. The explanation along with the tips was really great. Just today Grace was requesting Megan...so we will have a playdate soon. She said at dinner Tuesday night, "Megan talks to ME."...and Emma asked what her voice sounded like. :) Meg will be an awesome force to be reckoned with someday!
Great post! You are a wonderful mother and I also hope she gets a great K teacher. We are praying for this for our Meghan she's had a rough school year. Let us know if you find any great resources! We love your positive attitude...
Megan is amazing. And you are an amazing mom. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that when it comes to kids and their challenges, Heavenly Father will guide you in the way you should go. The hard part is moving forward in faith (instead of worrying), and not thinking about what other people do and say. That is the hardest one for me. When I go to the grocery store with Jericho and the checkers try to talk to him, it is hard not to go into a HUGE monologue about why he can't talk back, or start bawling about why he can't talk back . . .
Kathryn,
I've always loved Megan. Well, I love all my little cousins..all my family but Megan is extra special. (Don't tell anyone else!) I remember when we went to Texas, she let me push her on a swing and I got her laughing. She's got a great laugh. I'm glad you got your "diagnosis" so you can learn how best to help her learn and grow. Anxiety is not an easy thing to live with. Both my kids have anxiety and demonstrate it in very different ways. I'm reading a book to learn to help Nathan. It's called "Helping Your Anxious Child." It was recommended by Nathan's therapist. (He is in counseling now.)
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