Best. Talk. Ever.

If you have an extra 30min (I know... who has that kind of time! ;o) watch this BYU devotional by Brad Wilcox. It is so good.
Thanks Holly for sharing it, I've watched it over and over again.

It's just a little depressing

We officially closed on our house almost 2 weeks ago. We are now "renting" our home but it still hasn't hit me that it is no longer "ours".


I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the changes we are and will be experiencing. I leave for Utah on June 3rd with the kids. Trevor's parents come out to Louisville on June 4th to help Trevor load the truck that weekend then they will start their drive to Utah on the 7th and meet us there. We will visit family for a few more days then head up together to our new home in Kennewick, Washington.


This move is hard in sooo many ways.

Physically packing up our house, d-junking, and cleaning feels like an insurmountable task. Especially when I have 2 little boys hanging onto my legs and unpacking what I just packed. They are more clingy lately and I'm sure they are sensing big changes as more and more of their items are disappearing into boxes and since their mommy is quite frazzled and impatient lately.


Emotionally, well, I'm definitely struggling. I feel sad.

I keep asking Trevor, "Why are we moving??? We are happy here and we are moving across the country to a place where we don't know anybody!" He doesn't have to say a word because I already know why... because (for what ever reason) it is where our prayers have led us. I know I have to trust in that but it will be so hard to say good-bye to Kentucky. Three years went by way too fast and I have enjoyed the most wonderful friendships here and learned so much about myself. Our move to KY has been such a blessing and I have to believe that Washington will bring more blessings to our family.

Faith, that is what it boils down to... that is what is always boils down to.

Here are some pictures of our family 3 years ago:

Our little family has grown and changed so much in Kentucky.

We will miss this place dearly.

Party on

What a wonderful weekend we had.

Full of

talking, smiling, talking, giggling, eating, talking, crying, laughing,

laughing until we were crying...

and of course there was all that talking.

Marla and Dave came to visit us in Louisville.

It was so good to see their family.

How we have missed them.

(didn't take too many pictures... too busy talking. lol)

I have to say that my testimony of my Heavenly Father's love for me has increased 10 fold since we moved to Kentucky. The fact that He led us here and then (amoung other miracles) put these 2 amazing women in my path, well... I'm just so very grateful.

Day of Service

April 24th was "A Day of Service" and our ward had a great project.

We gathered at a local nature preserve and did a whole lot of planting, mulching, painting, weeding, and so on. The forecast was severe thunderstorms and the day started out rainy, yucky, and cold but then the sun came out. At one point one of the ladies that worked at the nature preserve came out and announced that "The radar says we have thunderstorms over us right now." We all looked up at the blue skies and I told them we had been praying for good weather so we could do this for them and our prayers were answered.

I was asked to be "the official picture taker" and we had a few articles in the local papers about our service which was fun.

Hallie and Megan worked hard planting flowers and spreading mulch... and chasing toads and newts.

It was so fun for me to walk around to each project and take pictures of the those giving service and see the transformations take place. It really was such a neat day and such a great reminder of what a blessing serving others is to our own lives.

"I have faith in America"

Over the last several months I have had some real concerns about some of the choices the leaders of our country are making... really, really, big concerns.

I've worried and stressed but ultimately felt I needed to get rid of the fear because I know that it's not from the Lord and instead focus on having faith.

I heard this quote today and wanted to share it. It gives me hope and reminds me once again that the Lord is in charge and we are never alone or hopeless. He has a plan.


Pres. Harold B. Lee’s writings, “Ye Are the Light of the World.” pg. 350.

“Men may fail this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on the principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail. This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the New Jerusalem. This is the place that the Lord said is favored above all other nations in the world. This is the place where the Savior will come to his temple. This is the favored land in all the world. Yes, I repeat, men may fail, but this nation won’t fail.
I have faith in America; you and I must have faith in America, if we understand the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are living in a day when we must pay heed to these challenges. I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. This is the favored land. This is the land of our forefathers. It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through.”

Note: I wrote this post then walked away and realized I failed to mention I am a strong believer in being informed and proactive. Although I have faith that the Lord is in charge I also know it is my responsibility to take a stand, to send out some emails, and make some phone calls to our elected officials, and to let my voice be heard. I cannot sit and do nothing and just hope that something changes and somebody else does what I am afraid or just "don't have time" to do. I believe one of the best ways to show gratitude for this wonderful country is to VOTE and let our government know what we value- our freedom, our family, our religion.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. " - Edmund Burke

Okay, I feel better. ;)

The courage to CTR

I got this idea from my friend Kristine... who got it from our friend Amy. :)

I love to find great mothers and then pester them with questions about their parenting ideas and of course copy them!

I ain't no dummy.

I've been trying to encourage the kids to do things that challenge them and might even be a little scary. I feel like it is getting harder and harder for our kids to do what is right and often they stand out because of it and sometimes even get teased for it.

So this is our "courage jar".

When any of us (including Trevor and I) do anything courageous we get to decide how many fuzzies we think we deserve to put in the jar (up to 5 for each act).

It can be anything and is different for each of us.

For example Megan gave herself 5 fuzzies for pulling out her tooth and she deserved every one of those fuzzies... she was terrified but she did it.

Hallie gave herself 3 fuzzies for asking a boy to stop saying a bad word.

I added some fuzzies to the jar for doing a little missionary work.

Campbell got some fuzzies for working on some of his potty training goals (I'll leave it at that).

etc.

When the jar is full (150 fuzzies) we are going either here or here for an over-nighter and a little family fun.

Anyway, it has been working great so I thought I'd pass the idea along.

Thanks Kristine and Amy.

Our Path

(warning, long journal entry)

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."

This has been my favorite scripture since my seminary days and I have grown to love it more and more as I have witnessed the Lord directing our paths when we "trust in him".

I remember when a prompting came 8 years ago that completely changed our path and Trevor called the Veterinary school in Oregon and told them he would no longer be attending (he was to start in a few weeks!). Then our focus became Medical School and we still can't believe how that all worked out so well. We were led to our house in West Bountiful and we have a tender place in our hearts for our neighbors and ward members there who supported us during a really stressful time in our lives (aka. Med school).

When Trevor interviewed for residencies we prayed and pleaded with the Lord that he would "direct our paths" and when Trevor came out here to interview he said to me, "It just feels like home." I thought to myself- Louisville Kentucky feels like home??!!!

You may remember how we found our house here. We could never deny the guidance we received to buy this home and that experience alone has strengthened my testimony that God lives and loves me. Throughout these 2 1/2 years I have had so many experiences when the spirit whispered in my mind- THIS is why you are here in Kentucky and THIS is why you are in THIS house. Our time here has and still is changing our lives for the good.

So when it was time for Trevor to start looking for a job we felt the importance of "Trusting in the Lord". He has always been so good to us

We had a FHE and talked to the girls about this and memorized Proverbs 3: 5-6 together then we offered a prayed and asked the Lord to guide our search for a job and a home... again please.

Trevor started applying to jobs in Idaho and Utah since we knew we wanted to be close to family but when we went out there we wanted to feel good about it but we just didn't. :( So we kept praying and Trevor kept looking. We thought about staying here in Kentucky since we love it here but we didn't feel good about it either. There were some more job openings in Utah and Idaho but nothing felt right. We knew we had to widen our search. We looked at the surrounding states and there was only one we felt good about... Washington. Trevor kept making comments about "the tri-cities area" but neither of us had been there and there weren't any job openings there until one day when one job opened in Richland and Trev immediately applied for it. He received an email back that day from the Medical Director of the Emergency Department. He was interested in talking to Trevor and we soon found out that he was LDS and has 5 kids (and Richland has a temple!)! We were so excited.

Trevor scheduled an interview there and in a few other places in WA and he flew out in the beginning of December.

He interviewed at the other hospitals in WA first and they offered him jobs but he was waiting to see how he felt about the interview in Richland (tri-cities area). Well, to make an already long post a little shorter when he got to Richland once again Heavenly Father answered our prayers and he knew it was the place for our family. The interview went great and they offered him the job.

Trevor called me on the way home from the interview. He was floating on air. I can't remember the last time he was so excited and happy. We knew it was right and we accepted the job a few days later.

Since then we still feel great about the job in Richland and we are excited but we feel so sad that we have to leave Kentucky (in June) and we feel so sad that we will still be 9 hours away from our family and friends in Utah. We never imagined that we would finish residency and then move somewhere away from family where we don't know anyone but it seems that the Lord has a different plan for our family.

We are excited for our new adventure but right now we are just enjoying our home and friends and all the wonderful things Kentucky has to offer our family. We are so very blessed.

A Favorite Quote

I've had this quote on my fridge for several years now. It's funny, I put things on my fridge so I will see them and read them often but it doesn't take long and I no longer notice them.

Anyway, it caught my eye today.

Fear

Oh my goodness sakes, am I the only one who is freaking out about our government right now? I have seriously stressed about some of the choices they are making (like losing sleep stressed). I worry about our future and our children's future and I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with it all.
Last night I was watching BYU TV and heard the following quote by Elder Jeffrey Holland. I LOVE this and need to apply to all aspects of my life because I do tend to be a bit of a "worry wart".
Anyway, I thought I'd share and maybe it will help you too.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

Referring to this scripture Elder Holland said:
“I submit to you that this may be one of the Saviors commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed…. I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands or trust in his commandments.”

I've never thought of that verse as a commandment and I certainly never thought that being fearful would "wound the loving heart of the Savior".
Anyway, something for me to work on.

thoughts on motherhood

I shared in a few posts back the feelings of inadequacy and humility I sometimes experience as a mother. As I have prayed answers have come.

Today I read this and it brought me comfort.

"You are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well.
He is blessing you, even- no, especially- when your days and your nights may be
the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even
with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to
touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry
and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, 'Daughter, be of good
comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.' And it will make your children
whole as well."
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I think I am often prideful in thinking that I should be able to do this on my own... I should have all the answers... after all, they are my children.

Sometimes I think we can be so hard on ourselves and even on each other and because we set this perfect standard we might feel some " hesitation and some embarrassment" asking for help but I love how the woman "fought her way through the crowd" to get to the Saviour. She was determined, she had faith, and the most amazing part to me is that the Lord felt she was worth saving. When she wasn't enough on her own she went to Him and He made her whole.

Life: Currently Under Construction

Re-evaluating life lately.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out daily and I can't do it anymore so I am making some changes, drawing some lines, cutting things out, and building a stronger foundation.

Change is hard...

not on my own

Wow, what a crazy week we have had!
It started when Campbell fell off the kitchen chair and bit all the way through his lip... luckily Trevor was home and came to the rescue.
Things went downhill from there. First Campbell got really sick, then Trevor, and now Davis. The pediatrician wants me to bring Davis in everyday until he starts feeling better which is a pain but better than being admitted to the hospital so I'm thankful for that.

I've been feeling a little (that's an understatement!) overwhelmed as a mother of four little ones especially since the two littlest have been so sick and Trevor is back to working a lot. I feel like I can't keep up with my families daily needs let alone do those other things I should do (like wash the sheets, or do my visiting teaching, or help my friends, or reading to my kids... you get the idea).

I've been praying and asking for His help and I have felt those prayers being answered in lots of little ways. My kids are still sick and Trevor is still gone but I have moments like yesterday when I had only had about 3 hrs of sleep and I felt like the Lord blessed me with the energy I needed so that I was able to still care for my family and even be NICE to them (which never happens when I'm really sleep deprived).
I feel sustained and I'm realizing more and more that I can't raise 4 little ones on my own. I can't be a great mom, wife, friend, etc. without help from the Lord and He doesn't expect me to do anything perfectly.
I feel humbled. I feel grateful.

Too blessed to be stressed!

As I waved good-bye to my girls as they drove away on the bus this morning I felt an overwhelming gratitude for my life. I haven't "earned" any of my many blessings and yet the Lord has showered me with them in every aspect of my life.

These last few weeks have felt like an eternity as we have waited and wondered everyday if "today will be the day that our baby comes" but they have also been filled with tender moments and long conversations with loved ones and the humbling reminder that my Heavenly Father is well aware of me and that His timing is best.

I have ached to hold my little sister's new baby girl but felt comforted and connected to her even though we are physically so far from each other.

I have enjoyed my sister-in-law's visit and felt her sweet spirit warm our home. The plan was for her to be here to help when the new baby comes, now I am just hoping she will get to see the baby before she has to leave (this Thursday)! But, I have had several moments when I have felt that this time we have had to visit and wait is what was needed.

I am often heard to say in my prayers "Thy will be done." but then so quick to complain when His will is not mine.

So today I am just feeling grateful to feel His love. Yes, I am physically uncomfortable and emotionally "unstable" but my spirit is full and the message is clear... I am loved by Him and I am so very blessed!

To be grateful

I was called to repentance today. We had some great talks on gratitude and I felt ashamed at how negative I have been lately (case in point, my last post).
I am richly blessed!!!! Why do I so easily see the negative and the things to worry about instead of basking in the goodness that is all around me? So I thought I would post some of the things I am most grateful for today.

Amazing friends who bless my life daily.

(and even threw me a baby shower for my 4TH CHILD, who gets that!?! Yeah, I'm pretty much spoiled.)

A husband who is an awesome dad and is always looking for opportunities to make great memories with our kids.
My calling with the Young Women.
Fall in Kentucky

My sis-in-law Julie (she is coming on Thursday and staying for 2 whole weeks, YAY!)
She is an angel.
My little man... he cracks me up.
My girlies.

Our sweet baby boy. The back aches, restless nights, and heartburn are all worth it.

I'm so grateful for him and I can't wait to hold him in my arms.

Truly, I am so blessed.

A glimpse

It's funny how I go through life, day to day, wrapped up in myself... my family... my "world". So quick to find the obstacles in my path and sadly I'm often so slow to see the blessings.

Every once in awhile I feel like the Lord takes an ordinary moment and pricks my heart and opens my mind and gives me a glimpse of what I have and how blessed I truly am. I had one of those "glimpses" last night. It doesn't matter what I was doing because like I said it was an ordinary moment. What matters is the feeling I got... I hope I will always remember... I know I will forget.

So today I will be different.

I will hug my children more,

I will smile and giggle and dance and play with them,

I will think of someone outside "my world",

I will "feast on the words of Christ" and drink of the spirit which I am so blessed to have in my life,

I will talk with my husband and enjoy him,

I will praise more and criticize less,

I will see the joys in my life and remember who they come from.

I will be different today... and hopefully tomorrow.

How quickly I forget.

I recently read this quote and wanted to share it.

"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a full-blown blitz on women. I would keep them so distraught and distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity for which their gender has always been known." -Patricia Holland

I found my word

I didn’t have any new years resolutions this year like I normally do (not because I couldn’t think of anything I needed to improve on, but because there were just too many things for my list) then I read a friends blog and I was inspired by it and decided to do like she did and choose a word to focus on for the new year. I’ve been thinking about my word a lot ever since I read her post and her beautiful thoughts.

So many words have come to my mind but none were exactly what I wanted to focus on and then today it came to me.

“Embrace”

I’m constantly learning about myself and one thing I’ve recently recognized is that I’m often disappointed with who I am. I feel like I should be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, missionary etc. especially with the knowledge I have of the eternal importance of these things. Too often I compare myself with others, their talents, abilities, etc and feel that I come up short. Why do I do this? I get frustrated with myself because I feel that I have been so very blessed and I often just sit at home hording all my blessings and feeling ungrateful because I’m not good enough.

I know that it is good to have desires to be better but for me all of these desires sometimes just turn into anxiety and a feeling of panic because I can’t do it all.

And so for me, this word is perfect as I strive to embrace who I am with my talents, my weaknesses, my desires and my blessings and not wish for someone else’s or apologize for my own.
*Embrace the fact that I am not perfect and some of my flaws make me…me.
*Embrace my desire to be good and do right and remember that the Lord knows that about me and sometimes that is good enough.
*Embrace my husband and children; embrace them physically- because I don’t give enough hugs- and embrace who they are and their uniqueness.
*Embrace my dreams and desires and move towards them without fear of failure.
*Embrace my individuality and not look for others approval but find my self-confidence grounded in the love of my Father in Heaven.
*Embrace the plan he has for me.
*Embrace the life I have, the lessons I’m learning, the joy I feel, the challenges I face, the person I am now.

Most of all this year, and hopefully for the rest of my life, I hope that I can stop trying to do everything on my own and embrace the help the Lord so generously offers me. I know that He is there with outstretched arms, waiting for me to take those steps toward Him so that He can wrap those loving arms around me.
That’s the embrace I am ultimately seeking…

Christmas 2006

I was organizing our pictures and came across our Christmas pictures from last year in our West Bountiful home. I was 7 months pregnant and Trevor was in the middle of residency interviews. A lot has changed in just one year.
I can't believe how much the girls have grown. It freaks me out a little bit because I know that next year I'll look back on the pictures of 2007 and think the same thing. How can they be growing so quickly? I'm with them every single day and yet in some ways I feel like I'm missing it. Does that make sense?

As I look back on this past year and all that has changed for our family I can see the Lord's hand in our lives. I feel so loved by Him and so grateful to know that He cares enough about me and my little family to personally guide us here to our new home in Kentucky. I'm so grateful for His birth and for His life and to know that He still lives!

I can't wait to see what 2008 brings.

We love you and wish you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Mary did you know

I was emailed this link and I wanted to share it with you because it touched my heart. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs and I have found that it means even more now that I am a mother of a baby boy. There is a special connection that I can't describe between a mother and her son. Mary must have been an amazing woman of faith... I hope I get to meet her someday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii9JvTyeL1Y

Just a reminder

Well, it happened. I knew that eventually I would forget to set my alarm and I don't naturally wake up at 6:30am so I knew that if I did forget we would definitely be very late for school.
I rolled over and forced my eyes open to check the clock, it was 7:35am. I screamed "Field Trip!" Today is Hallie's first field trip. Of all the days to sleep in!
The next 15-20 minutes are a blur. I put some clothes on, rushed upstairs and encouraged the girls to move very, very quickly. Hallie was so worried and on the verge of tears, she did not want to be late! We rushed about, getting dressed, combing hair, making lunch, brushing teeth etc. It was a mad house! At one point I rushed around the corner yelling to Megan to put on her shoes and stopped mid-sentence when I found Hallie on the front room floor kneeling in prayer.
I stopped and just stared for a moment. In all of this chaos and worry Hallie stopped and prayed for help. I was filled with warmth and gratitude for my beautiful, sweet children. I am often humbled by the lessons I learn from them.
How thankful I am to know that when they leave the shelter of our home they are not alone and are protected by a loving Heavenly Father and they can always go to Him for help.
Hallie stood up and smiled and was giggly and happy the rest of the way to school. She didn't miss the field trip and everything turned out just fine. I guess all it took was a little prayer. Thanks for the reminder Hallie.

P.S. On the way home from the school Megan told me she thought Campbell's full name should be Campbell Bubba Spitter-up Carrot Grubbs. Sounds good to me Mega-moo hunny-bun sweety-pie Grubbs.