Day of Service

April 24th was "A Day of Service" and our ward had a great project.

We gathered at a local nature preserve and did a whole lot of planting, mulching, painting, weeding, and so on. The forecast was severe thunderstorms and the day started out rainy, yucky, and cold but then the sun came out. At one point one of the ladies that worked at the nature preserve came out and announced that "The radar says we have thunderstorms over us right now." We all looked up at the blue skies and I told them we had been praying for good weather so we could do this for them and our prayers were answered.

I was asked to be "the official picture taker" and we had a few articles in the local papers about our service which was fun.

Hallie and Megan worked hard planting flowers and spreading mulch... and chasing toads and newts.

It was so fun for me to walk around to each project and take pictures of the those giving service and see the transformations take place. It really was such a neat day and such a great reminder of what a blessing serving others is to our own lives.

Chapter 6: Off to the Y

(Ha,Ha, I liked Melissa's comment, I guess I did end up being "the player"... whoops.)


The summer ended too soon. Trevor headed down to BYU and I was busy in my last year of nursing school.

The day Trev left for Provo I was so very sad.
With all those pretty girls... schoolwork... girls with freshly baked cookies... classes... cute girls... I figured it was over. But surprisingly Trevor called me every single night and we talked for hours. He had only been in Provo for a few days when he called me and asked me to meet him in Salt Lake City. We walked around the mall and temple square. Trevor had always been clear about his intentions, one night he said to me "Kathryn, I love you. I'd ask you to marry me right now if I didn't think you'd say no."
Tonight we stood in front of the temple and Trevor kissed me and said, "I've decided on the Salt Lake Temple." He smiled and I smiled... I knew that I loved him.


The time was quickly approaching for M (the missionary) to come home. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to think anymore. I knew I loved Trevor but I also knew that for a long time I had loved M and even though it had been 2 years and those feelings were a bit foggy I felt strongly that I needed to spend some time with him just to be sure. I prayed and prayed and prayed.
I knew what I had to do and I knew that Trevor wasn't going to like it... so I prayed for help and the next day when Trevor picked me up for our date he turned to me and said, "I was talking to my dad last night about this whole situation and my dad said, 'It sounds like you know what you want but Kathryn doesn't know yet what is right for her. If you love her you will do whatever you can to help her make her choice." He then told me that if I needed some time to spend with just M to help me make my decision he would support me with that.

It was an answer to my prayers... that is what I needed to do and I knew it and now having Trevor's support meant everything to me.

Two weeks... I would date M and not see Trevor for 2 weeks.

So M got home and we dated. I told him about Trevor almost immediately (the day after he got home). You should have seen his face, it broke my heart. He was shocked and I think he felt betrayed. I felt terrible to drop all of this on him so quickly but I had to be truthful with him and my feeling for Trevor were very real.

We went out every night and it felt nice to have my friend back but if he tried to get close to me or show any affection I was very uncomfortable and a funny thing happened... around 9:30 or 10pm I became very tired (like couldn't keep my eyes opened tired) and felt like I needed to get home and get some sleep.
After M dropped me off I would walk in the house and unconsciously grab the phone on the way down to my room and dial Trevor's number... I would lay on my bed and Trevor and I would talk until 1 or 2 in the morning... every single night.
Hmmmmm

Chapter 5: giving "us" a chance

So, I was going to give "us" a chance.

I knew I cared about Trevor and I definitely felt he deserved a chance but, I had just recently (about 4 months previous) broken up with a guy I really cared about because he wanted to get married and I still felt too strongly about the missionary to marry someone else. We decided to part our ways, at least for the time being... It was so painful and I was worried that I was headed down the same path.

Meanwhile I was still writing the missionary (I'm getting really tired of typing "the missionary" so he will be henceforth reffed to as "M") and talking with his parents about the plans for his homecoming. I felt so guilty since I had grown to love his family and here I was kissing some other guy and then talking to them like I was just waiting for M to get home so we could resume our relationship. But... I couldn't help myself.

Trevor and I had so much fun together, he made me laugh so hard. I remember one night every time he saw a phone (any phone, anywhere) he would pick it up and pretend like he was talking to his mom. He would say something like "Mom, code red, come and get me, this is serious mom! 1040". I was laughing my head off, where does he come up with this stuff?

Trevor was headed off to BYU soon. He kept telling me that he would make the 1 1/2 hr drive (each way) often to see me and I knew he would... in the beginning... but I also knew that the ratio at BYU was 2 girls to every 1 guy and I had heard that 90% of those girls were "barracuda women". I was certain that all those girls would hypnotise Trev with their beauty and freshly baked cookies and that would be the end of it. Long distance relationships just don't work out.

Chapter 4: fireworks

So, it turns out I was wrong... there's a first time for everything people.
Trevor wasn't a player.

After the second date there was a third and a fourth date and at the end of each date we were trying to come up with reasons to see each other again. I couldn't figure out why such a great guy liked me so much, so quickly, but he did... and I liked him... a lot.

I had one problem though. I was going to marry "my missionary" remember?
Well, believe it or not this was still my plan even though I really liked Trevor. I had cared about this missionary guy for a really long time and all signs pointed to us getting married. Now I just had to break it to Trevor. This is where the story gets uncomfortable.

We had just gone on our fourth date (fireworks at Weber state) and it was another amazing night. On the way home we were talking and Trevor started telling me how much he cared about me then he said, "oh yeah, but isn't your missionary coming home next month?" I froze, how did he know? He started laughing and I realized he was just kidding. He didn't know... but when he saw my expression he stopped laughing and I said, "actually he will be home in 2 months."
Silence in the car... very awkward silence.
He finally said, "So you are telling me that you are waiting for a missionary?"
"ummmm" I knew I had to be honest so I explained as best I could the situation... I had a long history with this guy and had been writing him throughout his mission. He would be home very soon...
I felt sick inside. I knew that Trevor was hurt.
We talked about it the whole way home...
The conversation was heavy...
It was a long drive home.
When it was time to say good-bye Trevor hugged me tight for a long time and then out of no where he kissed me. Not a normal "first kiss" kind of kiss, more like a "I'm staking my claim" kind of kiss.
Then he hugged me again and whispered, "just give US a chance."
Still stunned by the kiss I managed an "okay".

Chapter 3: wipeout?

Okay, back to the story (even though Trev pretty much gave away the ending- (me shaking my head)).

So, I was bummed since it was confirmed that indeed Trevor was a player. I had a lot of fun with him on our first date. Oh well, I'm sure he has moved on to the next girl so I might as well move on too.

To my surprise the day after our date he called. We talked and he was so funny and genuine (I found out years later that he used to write a list of things to talk about on the phone with me so there wouldn't be any awkward silences... cute).

He asked me to go boating with his family and said, "basically I'm just trying to come up with an excuse to take you out again". He was so honest and it was so endearing... Maybe I was wrong about him.


Okay, meeting his WHOLE family (including grandparents and 2nd cousins-once-removed ;0) in my swimming suit no less was not my idea of a comfortable 2nd date but I was curious about this guy so I agreed.


We walked on the beach and chatted while we waited for the boat to come get us. The boat came and they had us jump on the tubes first. I had never been tubing before and I'm not a great swimmer so I was nervous. His dad was driving the boat and it was full of members of Trevor's family who were all watching me curiously as the boat picked up speed. He was going fast, really fast and then he started turning and swerving and things got crazy.


I was TERRIFIED. I remember my hands were griped so tightly on the handles of the tube that they stung and my heart was beating in hyper speed. I turned and looked at Trevor who was bouncing and smiling and I tried to smile and pretend like this was actually fun... I couldn't have been convincing... I'm a terrible actor. Everyone was still watching and smiling and giggling from the boat and the water was spraying in my face but I was trying not to choke and spit and I was too afraid to let go of one hand to wipe the hair out of my face. I just kept repeating to myself, -don't let go, hold on- and every once in awhile I would turn to Trevor and give him my fake "this is great fun" smile. Then all of the sudden I found myself skidding across the water without my tube drinking gallons of water. I had fallen off and now I was floating in the middle of the lake alone.

Coughing and gasping for air with water coming out of my nose (pretty) I tried to quickly pull myself together before the boat came back . I was so embarrassed because I didn't know that it was normal to fall off the tube (like I said, this was my first time).

Trevor was cute and jumped off his tube to help me.

To this day I hate tubing.


On the way home we played "the question game". It's a game where you ask each other questions... Brilliant! I asked him questions like, "What is your favorite color?". He asked me questions like, "What qualities are you looking for in a husband?" and "Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?" Hello?! (...blush...)

At one point in the night I looked over at him and he looked at me and... I don't know... we just had a "moment".

Then it was time to say goodnight. My journal reads, "I just really had a good time with him. He gave me a nice hug and we just kinda talked and held hands for a few minutes then I went inside with a smile on my face... I had a hard time sleeping that night... sigh."

Chapter 2: Is this guy for real?

Trevor called me a few days later to let me know we would be four-wheeling that Sat. and when he would pick me up.

My parents weren't thrilled that I had agreed to go out with a complete stranger so my dad was there to "greet" Trevor at the door.

First on my dad's agenda:

- Find out the boys last name.

-Scare the crap out of him.

He asked him his full name and invited Trevor to sit down (that's when I knew we were in trouble) and proceeded to list all of the people we know who were killed riding three/four-wheelers... nice.

Trevor took it well and eventually dad let us go.

It was a double date with his best friend and after picking up some food we headed up to the bountiful "B" to ride the trail.

Trevor was cute and charming and funny... a little too cute and charming and funny. I couldn't help but wonder, "is this guy for real?!". Then we four-wheeled up to a peak just when the sun was starting to set and Trevor stopped and turned and looked at me and said, "This is my favorite part... It is the most beautiful spot on the trail... It's called 'Kathryn's Point'."

It was then I knew... he was a total player.

After a too perfect evening (that ended with his cousin playing the guitar while he sang a song... about me... that he made up as he went... He was hilarious! ) I was convinced this guy was too good to be true but I had to get a second opinion.

A girl in my nursing school attended high school with Trevor so I asked her the next day if she knew anything about him. She said, " I didn't know him well but I do know he had a lot of girls after him and I think he was kind of a player."

Yep, just as I suspected.

That explains it!

24 hour heartburn

swollen feet

waddling walk

puffy face... and hands... and feet

out of breath

charlie horses

side cramps

aching back

restless nights

exhausted

overwhelmed

scared to death of a newborn baby


Only one explanation...

I'm 35 weeks pregnant.

A letter from Heaven

We got this letter in the mail on Sunday.

Surprised? So were we!!! (okay, not about the letter, I'll be honest, the letter wasn't actually from heaven).

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After thinking I was coming down with the stomach flu for 4+ days it finally occurred to me that I could be pregnant and sure enough I was like 7 weeks along! I'm about 10 weeks now and due in November.

-

I'm still adjusting to the idea but I feel this is the Lord's timing and I believe He knows best so ready or not!

-

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The coolest part is my sister is pregnant with her first and due the day after me! How fun to go through pregnancy together and have cousins so close in age.

Yet another Tag

I was tagged with this one several weeks ago...whoops


1. How long have you been together? We met on July 3rd, 1999, almost 9 years ago
2.How old is he? Trev turned 30 today! We are getting so old ;)
3.How old are you? 29
4.Who eats more? Trevor, but I have recently realized (from having dinners with friends) that we both eat a whole lot more than the average person!!!!
5. Who said “I love you” first? Trevor, the night he found out I was waiting for a missionary (who was coming home soon).
6. Who is taller? hmmm... Trevor
7. Who sings better? hmmmm....Me
8. Who is smarter? If Trevor is not smarter then the UofU owes us A LOT of money!!!!
9. Who does the laundry? Me
10. Who does the dishes? Me
11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Is this if you are facing the bed or if you are laying in the bed ?????? I'm just asking.
12. Who pays the bills? Both of us do- reluctantly.
13. Who mows the lawn? Most the time it's Trevor.
14. Who cooks dinner? Mostly me although Trevor is famous at our house for his "mac and cheese surprise". Trevor does make breakfast on the weekends, if he is home.
15. Who is more stubborn? Well, it is certainly NOT me!!!
16. Who kissed whom first? Trevor kissed me for the first time (also on the night I told him about the missionary). I think he was a little anxious to let me know his intentions (bring it on!)now that there was some competition.
17. Who asked whom out? Trevor asked me out on our first date. We were at a party and he was flirting with my friends (which was fine with me- my missionary was almost home) then all of the sudden he stood up and walked across the room to me (we were all in a circle playing a game) and said, "Will you go out with me next Sat?" Needless to say, my friend wasn't very happy but Trevor later told me that he "felt like" he was supposed to ask me out.
18. Who proposed? Trevor proposed to me on BYU campus where his dad proposed to his mom.
19. Who is more sensitive? Trevor is more sensitive to peoples feelings, that is why everybody likes him I think. I'm learning from him.
20. Who has more friends? We are both blessed with lot's of great friends.
21. Who has more siblings? Trevor and I both come from families of 5 kids so I guess this one is a tie.

Now, for your amusement, some wedding photos... yes, I was a blonde and yes Trevor was a twig.

There I was sitting on the bench of the chapel in my underwear looking around and noticing that everyone else is fully clothed.
I think to myself- why didn't I get dressed before I came to church?
I silently answer myself- because I would have been late!
Then the thought hits me- Next time I think I will come fully dressed, even if that means being a little late to church...

...good thinking Kathryn.

Am I the only one that has crazy dreams like this? This one has been making me laugh for several days now. Does the fact that I was in my underwear mean I have self-esteem issues? (Any dream interpreters out there? ;)).

I found my word

I didn’t have any new years resolutions this year like I normally do (not because I couldn’t think of anything I needed to improve on, but because there were just too many things for my list) then I read a friends blog and I was inspired by it and decided to do like she did and choose a word to focus on for the new year. I’ve been thinking about my word a lot ever since I read her post and her beautiful thoughts.

So many words have come to my mind but none were exactly what I wanted to focus on and then today it came to me.

“Embrace”

I’m constantly learning about myself and one thing I’ve recently recognized is that I’m often disappointed with who I am. I feel like I should be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, missionary etc. especially with the knowledge I have of the eternal importance of these things. Too often I compare myself with others, their talents, abilities, etc and feel that I come up short. Why do I do this? I get frustrated with myself because I feel that I have been so very blessed and I often just sit at home hording all my blessings and feeling ungrateful because I’m not good enough.

I know that it is good to have desires to be better but for me all of these desires sometimes just turn into anxiety and a feeling of panic because I can’t do it all.

And so for me, this word is perfect as I strive to embrace who I am with my talents, my weaknesses, my desires and my blessings and not wish for someone else’s or apologize for my own.
*Embrace the fact that I am not perfect and some of my flaws make me…me.
*Embrace my desire to be good and do right and remember that the Lord knows that about me and sometimes that is good enough.
*Embrace my husband and children; embrace them physically- because I don’t give enough hugs- and embrace who they are and their uniqueness.
*Embrace my dreams and desires and move towards them without fear of failure.
*Embrace my individuality and not look for others approval but find my self-confidence grounded in the love of my Father in Heaven.
*Embrace the plan he has for me.
*Embrace the life I have, the lessons I’m learning, the joy I feel, the challenges I face, the person I am now.

Most of all this year, and hopefully for the rest of my life, I hope that I can stop trying to do everything on my own and embrace the help the Lord so generously offers me. I know that He is there with outstretched arms, waiting for me to take those steps toward Him so that He can wrap those loving arms around me.
That’s the embrace I am ultimately seeking…

Hallie and Megan's photoshoot

Hallie and Megan love to take pictures. They took turns taking these of Cam and I on the front porch swing. I think they did a good job. It's not easy to take pictures of a moving target, and Campbell is ALWAYS moving. ;)